Check out this rockin’ contest from Hampton Hotels! It’s the Hampton Chain of Friends Sweepstakes. How awesome would that be?  Getting an entire hotel for you and 100 of your closest friends?  Cool.  Makes my head dream a bit…(insert the boo-da-doo-da-doo from Wayne’s World)

First, it’s not hard for us to get 100 people together.  Christmas Eve dinner is 30-40 people, and that’s just immediate family!  Where would I take 100 of my closest friends, and what would we do?  Let’s see…

I would have to pick a place that everybody could drive.  Not everybody can afford airfare.  So, at first I thought Cleveland.  Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, some bar hopping in The Flats, some nice dinners…but what about the kids?  Not everybody could get sitters for the weekend (including myself!)  So, then I thought it would be cool to have 100 people go to Williamsburg.  We could take the kids to Busch Gardens.  And Colonial Williamsburg.  The grown ups AND the kids could have fun.  The Hampton Inn & Suites in Williamsburg has an indoor pool AND an outdoor pool.  The kids can swim, the adults can relax.  And we’d be with 100 people that we like.

I’m gonna put it out there to the universe….that’s what I’d love.  OR, you can all enter and invite me for the weekend if you win!  Where would you go?  Let me know…’cuz I’ll need to know what to pack.  Oh, and if it’s a kid-free weekend, I’ll start recruiting babysitters early!

She lost it until September 6th.

The television was the prize in a battle of wills between the two of us.  A battle of wills?  Guess what.  I’m gonna win every. single. time.  There was screaming, there was crying.  In the middle of all of this she told me (in a very high pitched, loud voice) that she was going to call my mom and tell her how mean I was being to her.

So I dialed the number for her.

Grandma told her that maybe she should take a rest.

Score one for Mom (and Grandma).

She hated me for about an hour, but all is good now.  The hate came back for a bit right before bed,  but she’s decided not to move out.

God, I can’t WAIT until she’s a teenager.

(as I’m writing this…I just broke up a fight…and yelled for her to not stomp up the steps)

Anyway, I have a full week to myself, and it’s getting filled.  Work tomorrow, get my hair done on Tuesday, take the dog to the vet on Wednesday.  I’m thinking that Thursday might be a day to stay in my jammies extra long and read a book.  Or watch a rated R movie.  At 11:00 in the morning.  Imagine that.

But it just hit me that, after that first week, I have to start school.  It’s only two classes, and I’ll definitely have the time to do it.  It’s all online.  One of the classes is a programming class, which I’m looking forward to.  It won’t really be like ‘work’ because I actually enjoy that kind of stuff.  But the other class?  English Comp 2.  Blech.  It’s the last class I need for my Associates Degree (it’s an associates degree in, well, general-I-couldn’t-make-up-my-mind-what-to-be-when-I-grow-up stuff).  Now, I don’t really mind writing.  But I like writing here…in that conversational tone.  Official papers with footnotes and references?  Papers in which I need to force an opinion on somebody.  Ewwww, HATE IT!  So guess what?  I’m gonna come here to complain.

Consider that your fair warning

• Chloe has told me that, although she likes her teacher, she likes her pre-school teacher better.  She decided she wants to go back to pre-school.  I told her “sorry ’bout your luck.”
• Becca has been on time out for fighting homework.  On the first day of homework. The second day of homework went a little better, but she needs to get her focus back.  Her brain is everywhere BUT her homework at homework time.
• I got a call from the school nurse.  Already.  Becca has a bug bite gone wild.  Long story short, she has a big , hot red mark around the bite.  We noticed the bite over the weekend, but it didn’t “go wild” until Tuesday night.  The nurse kept her in school, and we went to the pediatrician yesterday.  Cellulitis (slight infection under the skin).  So, she’s on Keflex (sp?).
• Chloe is very impressed with breakfast at school.  She won’t start whole days (and lunch at school) until next week.  But I think she likes the feeling of eating out every day.
• I got right back into schedule, and promptly fell asleep with Becca in bed last night.  At 9:00.  My body needs to adjust to that 7:00 am wake time after getting to sleep in most of the summer.  My goal is to have  ’me’ time every night (well, some of those nights will be “me and Tony” time).  Wasn’t that a goal last year?  Well, I guess I can take naps this year because they will both be in school

Alrighty, gotta hit that “to-do” list before I get Chloe from the bus!

Friday, the 2oth, was the day that I was getting to celebrate.  Now, I knew that we were having friends over that evening for a deck party.  Tony told me to take the day to myself and be back by 6:00.  Hey, I wasn’t going to fight him on that!  I left the house, and headed to lunch.  I had a nice, quiet, lunch at Friday’s.  No kids bugging me, asking when the food was coming.  I sat at the bar.  It was fantastic.

Next, I headed to the bookstore.  And I didn’t look at one children’s book.  Again, awesome.  Peaceful.  Off to Kohl’s.  I got a piece of art for my new, grown up walls and a new pair of shades.  I poked around the new Kirkland’s that opened near me, and then off to Target.  I bought all new make up.  Lotions.  Soaps.  (OK, I did buy Play-Doh, but it was the one thing I forgot on the back to school list).  Then I went gambling.  Nothing like playing the slots  And you know…even when you go to the Casino with somebody, you always end up splitting up.

So, when I was done I got in the car to go home.  I blared some of my old CD’s (instead of listening to whatever movie the kids are watching).  I listened to the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.  Can’t listen to that with kids in the car.

I got home, gathered my new belongings, and headed up the steps.  When I opened the door, bunches of friends were there IN COSTUME to greet me.  They had planed a 70’s themed party.  It was fantastic.  All the kids had tye-dye on, one of our friends wore classic black roller skates, and Tony looked like this:

There was a ton of food, a fantastic tiramisu cake,  a variety of adult beverages, and it was just a darn good time.  Of course, I had TOO MUCH fun.  We played drinking games that I hadn’t played in FOREVER!!!  We played Drug Dealer, we played Flip Cup.  It was all good.  I fell asleep next to Tony, on the deck, about 1:30 in the morning.  He dealt with the kids all night, and then tucked me into bed.  I spent the entire morning of my ACTUAL birthday on the couch.  But the kids did this for me:

I was a slug all day.  About 5:00 I decided that I needed something greasy and spicy to make me feel better.  I ate the most awesome Italian Hoagie with sausage, hot peppers, green peppers and mushrooms.  It DID make me feel better.  A little.  I still felt it a bit on Sunday, but I made it through.

So, 40 years old.  And what happens today?  The kids went to school.  My baby went to kindergarten.  Which made me feel extra old.  And YOU KNOW how much I’ve complained about the fighting.  But I still cried after they got on the bus.  Hmmph.  Go figure.

40?  Not the end of the world.  I’ll take it

A mustache NEVER makes you look better.

All in all, Tony agreed.  Beard and mustache?  OK. Goatee?  That’s just fine.  But just a mustache?  Please, please, don’t do it.  Tony said that Burt Reynolds was an exception.  I disagree.  I mean, his mustache is iconic.  It’s part of his persona.  It’s his symbol.  If you had a t-shirt with just a mustache on it, you might think of Burt Reynolds.  But that doesn’t mean he looks BETTER with a mustache.

So, I’ve decided to lay out some rules about mustaches.  The only reasons you should have a mustache without having a goatee, beard, or that funky mohawk thing on your chin:

• You are an annoying French waiter
• It’s Halloween
• You work for a circus or a carnival
• You are a seventies porn star
• You are in a play or movie, or you have a job in a theme park where it is required as part of your costume

So guys, if you ever think “Maybe I should grow a mustache,” Don’t.  Just don’t.  You won’t look better.  Really.  Instead, think “Maybe I should grow a goatee.”  Or something along those lines.

This has been a public service announcement.  Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I have some other issues, too.  I have very high pressure in my eyes.  In fact, I am just on the borderline of having glaucoma.  Now, the doc said that I have ‘thick corneas,’ which means that my gold ol’ eyeballs can withstand that pressure.  Everything else looks pretty hunky dory.  I’m just telling my eyeballs that they need to hang in there for another 50 years or so.

A long time ago, when I was in my early twenties, I went to a different eye doctor.  The pressure was high in my eyes back then, too.  I’m pretty easy going when I’m at the doctor, and I joke around a lot.  I guess that made him comfortable, and he asked me if I ever smoked.  Not cigarettes.  I told him that I had dabbled a bit, but I didn’t do that on a regular basis.  (I WAS in my twenties, you know).  I told this story to my current eye doctor.  He laughed and said “Well, it would lower your pressure.”

Hmmmmm

So, I asked, “Are you saying that if I lived in California, I could get  a prescription for medical marijuana?”  He told me that yes, I probably could.

Isn’t that an interesting little tidbit to know?  Don’t worry…I’m not packing up.  I’m staying right here in the ‘Burgh.  I’ll take Islay’s chipped ham, Primanti sandwiches and the Steelers over a big fat doobie any day.

Life is coming along just fine here.  The kids found out who their teachers are, and they’re both happy with who they got.  They’re super excited about starting.  And to coincide with the whole “two kids in school” thing, the house really is starting to look a little more grown up.  The deck is almost done, (YAY!) the air conditioner is getting fixed as we speak, and we’re gearing up for some grown up time.

I would love to say that I have some cute or funny story about the kids.  But right now, we’re all just pretty much done.  We slept without air conditioning last night, which wasn’t really all that bad, but it gave the kids something to complain about.  Chloe has forgotten how to do anything by herself, and is getting upset if Becca won’t play with her.  Becca, who NEVER really figured out how to entertain herself, is just telling Chloe that she’s not going to play with her so she gets upset.

Me?  I’m thinking about diving into a big bottle of Pinot Noir.

So, they are definitely ready for school.  They need the structure.  The socialization.  And they need to start going to bed earlier!  The one good thing (or bad, depending on how you look at it) that happened this summer is that they learned how to sleep in!!!!  I know that I complained previously about the early risers.  No more.

So, as I enjoy this last week of my thirties, I may not be posting a bunch.  I’m going to be living it up, having fun.

…..or swimming in that bottle of Pinot Noir and then curling up into the fetal position because I’m going to be 40.

One of those.

Can’t wait!

I have to share a little funny with you from yesterday. I was going through the junk mail, and there was a bunch of stuff from Kohl’s. First, YAY!, I got a 30% off coupon for next week. That just means shopping. Can’t pass that up. Second, there was a separate book with ‘intimates.’ This was the picture that was on the front:

I’d guess that would be a giraffe print? Maybe a ‘crackle” bra?  Well, Chloe set me straight.  She hopped up to the kitchen island where this ad was sitting and stated, “Mom!  That lady is wearing a steak bra!”

Classic.

Have a great weekend!

We’ve lived in our house for seven years, and have finally gotten around to this.  I mean, the restaurant took a lot of our time, money and patience.  (Wow, the restaurant sure does sound like a kid.).  Most the other neighbors did their decks years ago.  But hey…we’re doing it now.  And it’s not half-ass, either.  It’s going to be covered, too!  The back of our house gets sun, well, whenever the sun is out.  The roof is definitely a necessity.

We went and got some furniture, too.  Yes, a bit premature.  But I wanted to get something decent before all the patio furniture was gone for the season.  And we only spent $1000 on a table with six chairs, and a cushioned set with a love seat, two chairs and an ottoman.

I can see it now…..picture this

******It’s a fall morning…maybe early October.  After I peacefully get the kids on the school bus, I trot home and have a steaming cup of coffee.  I gather the laptop and the coffee, and head out to the deck.  The leaves are starting to turn.  Awesome.  Do you know what I hear?  Just some birds.  All the kids?  They’re at school and pre-school.  Aaaaahhhhh.  *****

I’m so ready.  If I even get ONE morning like that, I will feel complete!  But right now?  I’m sucking up the last two weeks of summer.  My kids start school on August 23rd, so we’re in the home stretch.  I’m thinking there may be ice cream in the picture for tonight….

I’ll post some pictures of the deck’s progress a little later!!!

Which would normally be just fine.

I turn 40 this month, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I mean, so what?  40.  I really have been fine with the whole thing.  But it just smacked me in the face this morning.  My brain has been thinking about what I’ve done with my life, what I still want to do, and the fact that I’m probably half way to death (at least).  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done lots of things that have made me happy.

Married a great guy, have great kids, live in a big house, I’m happy with who I am.  That’s all good.  Oh, and we did that whole “open a restaurant” thing.  Which is cool.  There are still some days when I walk into that place and my brain goes “Holy crap, we did it. I can’t believe this place is ours.”  It is STILL very surreal.  In a (mostly) good way.

But, to quote the Holy Grail, “I’m not dead yet.  But I don’t want to get on the cart.”  Lots more to do.  Hence the Bucket List.  There are some other things that aren’t on the public Bucket List.  But I’m keeping those private.  I have set a mini goal, though.  To reach before my birthday.  Which is to lose 8 pounds.  Which would put me at 140.  Which means that I probably have to not only watch what I’m eating, but exercise, too. Ick.

So, Happy August!  The kids and I bought a bunch of school supplies, and I bought them a TON of school clothes.  Two of my favorite August activities.  They’re excited to start school.  I’m excited for them to start, too.  40 years old and two kids in school?  I’ll take it