Archive for sarcasm

Aug
13

I Didn’t Marry Him For His Money

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Any relationship goes through ups and downs.  Tony and I are definitely on an upswing.  Life was a little crazy with having kids and buying the restaurant.  We really didn’t have too much time for each other.  But the restaurant craziness is settling down, the kids don’t need us EVERY second of EVERY day and we’ve actually gottenn to have real conversation the past few weeks.

I’ve always had fun with Tony.  And, of course, I think that’s the most important thing when it comes to being with somebod for the rest of your life.  You’ve gotta have fun together.  He’s not a rocket scientist, he’s not wealthy.  But he’s a genuine person with a good heart and a great sense of humor.

A few years ago, right around Christmas, I told him that it didn’t matter what he got me for Christmas.  A sweater, some slippers, whatever.  I DID say that after the holidays, I wanted to finally buy a new faucet for our kitchen sink and a ceiling fan for our bedroom.  (Our craptacular Maronda house came with a faucet -no sprayer- in the kitchen sink, and has the electrical box for the fan in the Master Bedroom, but no fan).  Those things never came.

After about a year, I started giving him shit about it.  Not in a fighting, confrontational way, though.  I would be cleaning out stuff in the sink and I would ‘gesture’ like I was using a sprayer.  I’d add my own sound effects and everything.  Of course, I would sarcastically say “This sprayer is AWESOME!.”  When we would go to bed, every once in a while I would turn on the switch for the “fan” and state “This is broken!”  Tony would innocently ask what was broken.  And I would continue to say that the ceiling fan wouldn’t turn on.

Well, the other day there was something (I can’t remember what) that Tony wanted me to do.  I told him that I would do it as soon as we got the sprayer and ceiling fan.  After three years, this had become just a fun game :)  Well, when he came home from work on Tuesday, there were two boxes on my dining room table.

Ceiling fan and faucet with sprayer.

He installed the faucet yesterday.  I’m so happy.  Having a sink without a sprayer really sucked.  The ceiling fan will go in this weekend. He’s a good egg.

But now, what am I going to hold over his head?

Damn.

Hey…I got my hair done yesterday, and I’m back to a red head. Me likey :)

redHave a great day!

Categories : life, sarcasm
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Jun
24

Screw The Judicial System

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Well, here I am.  Sitting in downtown Pittsburgh on my lunch break.  From jury duty.  I’m not too happy about it.  Now, I really should look at this with a little silver lining around it.  It’s a day without the kids.  I can (sort of) work on the lap top.  I can read.

Screw the silver lining.

I’m in a cantankerous mood.  I’m trapped.  My ass hurts from sitting on it all day.  I can’t get any internet connection in the courthouse.  I have a wedgie.  I’ve had one cigarette since 8:15 this morning (Although that’s about to change.  As soon as I’m done writing to you dear people, I’m smoking!).  Poor Tony is at home with the kids, and he has to work until 4:00 in the morning.  I’m just having a big ol’ rant.  (Oh, if you like rants, check out Angie over at Ranting In Pittsburgh.  She’s awesome) Even though I’m the beacon of positive thinking (ha!  Did you hear the sarcasm?), I’m indulging in my crabbiness.  Today, I throw everything to the wind.  I’m gonna smoke.  I might put some sugar in my coffee.  I’m eating coconut cream pie for dinner.  I’m gonna let the kids watch tv all night tonight (btw – they LOVE the show ‘Wipeout’ on ABC.  It’s on tonight.).

I feel better just complaining to you.  Thanks for listening.  I’ll be your regular old ray of sunshine tomorrow…or at least that’s the plan :)

Categories : life, sarcasm
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OK, here’s my newest design. I have serious Jesus issues…and when this idea came into my head I literally laughed out loud. I’m just a bit tired of the whole ‘Jesus Loves Me’ thing. Whatever. Such a terrible phrase. Anyway, there’s my rant, and here’s my design:

Just in case you can’t read it, it says “Jesus Loves Me But I broke up with him.”

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