I’ve mentioned the Law of Attraction before, and the role it has played in my life.

But now it’s starting to get weird.

I’ve been reading up again on some LOA stuff.  I find that if I brush up every six months or so, I stay on track with knowing what my goals are and staying focused on those goals.  A few years back (three, maybe?), when I first read The Secret, I put something out there, and I never told anybody about it.  Being the logical, naturally skeptical person that I am, I decided to give the law of attraction a few tests.  When I would think about it, I would use it for a great parking space, a short line at the store or green lights while driving.  One big thing that I threw out there was a feather.  More specifically, I pictured a very large bright pink feather laying on the ground.  I thought, OK, if this stuff really works, this bright pink feather will come into my life.  Just one feather.

Fast forward to October 31, 2009.  After a night at a neighbor’s party, I woke up and came down into my kitchen to a) take three ibuprofen and b) drink some coffee.  And I saw it.  One very large and very bright pink feather laying on my counter.  I was so, well, hungover that I didn’t make the connection right away.  Later that afternoon, when Tony was awake, it hit me.

“Where the hell did this huge pink feather come from?” I asked.  He said that Mary, his sister (who had dressed as an American Indian) gave it to him for the girls.  It had fallen out of her costume.  Then I told Tony about the whole Law of Attraction/pink feather story.

Weird.

Two days later, we were sitting in the basement.  The girls were playing and Tony and I were watching television.  I knew that my neighbor would be stopping by to pick up her son’s special cup that he had left at our house that afternoon.  It was about fifteen minutes before she said she would be there, and I looked at Tony and asked if he thought we would hear the doorbell down in the basement.  Right exactly after I said that?

Ding-Dong.

Creepy.

The next day, I was on the telephone with Tony (he was at work).  I had been forgetting to tell him about a band that wanted to play at the bar.  While I was talking to him (about something completely different), the thought of this band hit me like a ton of bricks.  I told him to stop whatever he was telling me, I HAD to tell him about this band–I’d been forgetting for a week!.  I sat at the computer to sift through my emails and get this man’s phone number.  As I started my email program and it checked for new mail, I got an email from this guy!  The time stamp was just a minute earlier…when that overwhelming feeling hit me like a ton of bricks.

I’ve decided that i don’t believe in coincidence anymore.  EVERYTHING happens for a reason….even if I don’t really know what that reason might be.

On a side note, the non-smoking me is doing very well.  Although I may become addicted to dum-dum suckers and double bubble gum.  Oh well

I’ve been thinking a lot about my grandmother lately.  Let me give you a little history about her, and then I’ll tell you all the things that have happened.  I think these things have happened BECAUSE I’ve been thinking about her, but maybe she’s sending me some sort of sign?  Who knows.

Anyway, my grandmother was an awesome lady.  She had four children, and her oldest child is my dad.  She lived most of her adult life in the six unit apartment building that her mother owned.  She was an incredible pre school teacher, great artist and fun chick.  I lovingly referred to her as ‘old lady.’  And she didn’t mind it.  In fact, I think she enjoyed it.  Which is why she was so cool.  Her kids were scattered throughout the country.  Her two daughters moved to California when they were adults, and her son moved to Wisconsin, where his wife is from.  My dad hung around here in Pittsburgh until he retired (I think that was twelve years ago).  That’s when he headed to Florida.  So for a long time, my brother and I were her only ‘kids’ around town.    She had been a very independent woman, but had developed macular degeneration and had become legally blind.  She could see a little, but couldn’t really see any detail.  Once an avid reader and crossword puzzle expert, she had to start listening to audio books. She would still cook and bake, and had some awesome cookies (supplied my wedding cookies, too!) It drove her crazy that she couldn’t just get in the car and go!  So, every two weeks, I would take her to the grocery store.  We would hang out and chat.  She had become one of my best friends, and when something important or exciting happened to me, I’d call Tony first, then I’d call Gram.

When my great grandmother died, the apartment building went to my great aunt, who also lived in the building.  My gram and her sister were extremely close.  When my great aunt passed a few years later, the building went to her son and it was sold.  Gram wasn’t too happy about all that.  I got her all set up in a senior center close to where I lived.  We had to wait a few months until the unit would be ready, so she went down to Florida to live with my parents for the winter.  Tragically, on January 2, 2003, she was killed in a pedistrian accident.  She never got to meet my kids, but I know she’s watching.  I have these two rocks.  Or maybe they’re chunks of glass or something.  (no sharp edges, don’t worry, but I don’t really know what they are!) Anyway, they sat in her potted plant for years – they were a gift from my aunt.  I put one in each of my kids’ rooms.  I told the kids that if they were ever scared to not worry…that rock would protect them.  I told them that my grandmother could see them through there, and hear them if they talked to her.  Becca asked me a bunch of questions about Gram, and I answered them.  She talks to her/the rock every now and again.

So, the vibes.  My cousin had a baby a few months ago, and named him Graham.  I was told that the choice in names was for ‘Gram.’  (If  it had been girl, I also heard she was supposed to be ‘Stella’ – Gram’s name).  That’s when it all started.  I started dreaming about my grandmother and where she lived.  Her birthday was ten days ago.  Out of the blue, my aunt called – I haven’t talked to her in years.  It was great talking to her!  I think she’s picking up on some vibes, too.  Then, I googled Tony’s name (looking for pics from a photographer that was at the VIP party at the Dave Matthews concert).  What did I come across?  Gram’s obituary that ran in Wisconsin.  (and now, when I google Tony’s name, I can’t find it…I had to look for it directly)  My kids wanted ice cream at Costco the other day.  They picked a variety pack, which had 18 of those nutty buddy ice cream cones.  They were Gram’s favorites.

Maybe all these things are happening because I’ve been thinking about her and putting those vibes out there.  Maybe it’s the other way around, and I’m thinking about her because of all these things.  Who knows.  But I DO know that I’m glad I still can feel her presence, even if it is just in my heart.

Last week we had an extremely foggy day in Pittsburgh. Or, as Chloe likes to say…’poggy.’ Anyway, on that particular morning I dropped Becca off at Kindergarten, and Chloe off to preschool. As I drove to the restaurant to do some work, I thought about how going through life is a lot like driving in the fog.

Let me explain.

I know my way to the restaurant like the back of my hand. It really didn’t matter that it was foggy at all. My brain knew all the right turns to make. I didn’t have to look for any signs or landmarks. I knew they were there before I even saw them. I think that’s what it’s like going through a comfortable stretch in your life. You just go on auto pilot. You know where you are. You go there every day. It is your every day.

But what if you want to go some place else? I am at a point in my life where I think I know where I want to go. I believe I know what I want. If I were driving in the fog, but wasn’t driving my normal route, it would be a bit more challenging. I would have to look for signs and landmarks where I needed to turn. In life, sometimes I pass these signs up, and have to go around the long way. I don’t have a map, but rather a general idea of where I’m going.

Maybe I need a map.

How about you? Do you know where you want to be? Are you in your same comfortable routine drive, but want to go someplace else? First off, you need to figure out where you’re going. If you are driving around in the fog…no map…and no idea where your final destination is…you will just be driving around.

To be more specific, I know that I would like to make a living online. I have already started doing this (and will be creating a new blog soon about how I make money online), but I’m not making a living. I also want to push Downey’s House a bit further. I’m a little more unsure of exactly what I want here. Will it be an additional location? Will it be another restaurant all together? Not sure. But that’s after the online stuff.

I know that I want to spend time with my children. And I’m doing a pretty good job at that. I know that some day I want to have enough money to enjoy life a bit more. Travel some. Spend time with my husband.

So, what’s the point? I guess it’s this: I’ve made some goals and I’m working towards reaching them. But as I speak with friends and family, most are not quite sure where they’re going. Pick some goals, dammit.

Wow, that was a lot of back and forth babbling. Well, I’m on vacation, and being on vacation means that I get to think about life and where I’m going. Don’t worry. I’ll be back to ‘work’ soon. And I’ll stop being so….um…..’thinky.’