Archive for kids
Meatballs
Posted by: | CommentsWell, the newest addition to our family is growing up and leaving hair everywhere. Remember Rex?
Well, he’s becoming a man 
Even more so. I’m not sure if you remember the post about his girlfriend or not. The girls asked about that, but didn’t have any probing questions. And I’m going to start this story off as delicately as I can. Let me just say that Rex isn’t neutered.
He prefers to lay on his back, legs all spread apart. Well, a few months ago, when the…um…”boys” popped out, Chloe had some concern. I’m going to tell you exactly what she said, but let me first say that Rex’s belly (and those other various parts) is white with black spots. Just so happens, that the black spots landed exactly on the boys.
Chloe came running into the kitchen, screaming in a panic.
“Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!”
“What!!!” I screamed. I was hoping nobody lost a finger.
“Rex has meatballs coming out of his but!”
“Um, what?” I didn’t really make the connection right away. It took a second. But it did hit me before I actually SAW the dog.
As I chuckled under my breath, I gently told Chloe that they were not, in fact, meatballs. All these different words (both medical and slang) flew through my brain. I decided to keep it as simple as possible.
“Chloe, those are his boy parts. Girl parts are inside. Boy parts are on the outside.”
She looked at me, and I saw the wheels turning in her head. Obviously, the next question HAD to come.
“Do Dad’s boy parts look like that?”
I simply answered “Well, Dad’s not a dog. If you want to know anything else, you’re going to have to ask Dad.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
Don’t Worry. It Will Grow Back.
Posted by: | CommentsI’m hoping that there’s no more snow this year. Spring starts in just two weeks. I can handle a flurry or two. But please, nothing we can measure in inches. I’ve had enough. Do you wanna hear my story about the first snow of the year? Sure you do.
It was New Years Day. There was some fresh snow on the ground. I actually cooked. I made a pork roast, kraut and mashed potatoes. We were having a pretty lazy day and the kids were being good. Great way to start off the year. We ate dinner a little early (smelling it all day can do that to ya!), and the kids asked if they could go out sled riding.
Let me interject a little something here. Back before Tony and I got married, I had one condition. Not about the marriage, but about kids. I told him that if and when we had kids, he would have to be in charge of any of the snow related activities. I hate the snow. Don’t like being in it, feeling it, smelling it or looking at it. That was the deal. And I’ve held him to it. I’m not quite sure why we live HERE, where it SNOWS. But, whatever.
So, back to January first. Sled riding. Fine. The day before I had just bought new snow pants for the girls. We get them all bundled up like Randy from A Christmas Story, and out they go.
So, off they go to the backyard. We have a gigantic sled riding hill just past the yard. It’s not actually OURS, but belongs to the homeowners association. Anywho, there were some older boys sled riding earlier in the day, and the temptation just sucked the girls in. And I had the house to myself for a while. Bonus. I even took a picture of them out in the snow:
Not a lot of snow, but enough for a few rides. Well, here’s the next picture I took:
Yup, that’s Chloe in the emergency room. Earlier in the day the boys had built a little ramp in the snow. Tony was steering the kids clear of the ramp. But as the kids got braver and braver, they went higher and higher up the hill. As Chloe went down, she hit a little divet and headed straight for the jump. And landed. On her shoulder. And broke her collar bone.
I didn’t realize at first that she had broken her collar bone. Nothing was sticking out. But her cries. They went straight through my heart. That’s how I could tell that something was REALLY wrong. So, we packed it up and headed to the Emergency room. When we told her that we were going to the hospital, the cries stopped. I think she was happy to be going so that she could get some relief from the pain.
She was a total trooper. Calm and collected the entire way. Polite with the doctor. Not complaining a bit. Here’s the next picture I took:
We had a few rough nights with her sleeping, but all in all she was a great patient. And because I waited so long to tell you this little story, I can tell you the ending. Which rocks. She had to wear the sling for about four weeks. We went to the orthopedic doctor on that last day, they took another x-ray and decided that she could officially remove the sling. In the doctor’s office, after the doctor left, I handed her the sling and asked if she waned to put it in the trash. She gladly grabbed the sling and slam dunked that thing.
We headed outside of the doctor’s office, sunlight on our faces. Chloe looked at me, raised both arms over her head (which she hadn’t done in exactly four weeks) and exclaimed “This is the best day of my life!!!!”
She just cracks me up.
OK…I’ll catch you up on some more stuff soon!
Let’s Pretend It’s December
Posted by: | CommentsOK, we’re just gonna pretend that it’s December. Looks like December outside. Except for the Christmas decorations. Anyway….
***note: If this were a movie, the screen would get all wiggly, ‘cuz we’re going back in time…***
The Christmas buzz was in the air. The kids were ready to be done with school and score some loot. But here’s the thing. Becca REALLY wanted one of those darn zhu-zhu pets. Along with every other kid on the face of this Earth. A few weeks before the Christmas break began, my niece-in-law (who we’ll just say is my niece, because it’s easier) asked me if I had bought Chloe a zhu-zhu pet for Christmas. Nope. Hadn’t done it. Chloe wasn’t really asking for one all that much. She went through a few days around Thanksgiving saying that she wanted one. But then it changed to something else…and something else…and something else…
You get the idea.
Well my niece found some zhu-zhu’s online for a good price and got one for Chloe. Which was great. As I thought about this situation, a vision of loving sisters danced in my head. And I thought it would be a little experiment. They had been getting along great (I’m sure it had something to do with my Santa-Cams-in-every-lightbulb-ever-made story). So, I had this vision of them sharing this gift. Really.
I did consider getting one for Becca. My sister in law called me the Friday before Christmas (as I had three children in my car on the way to school). She was at Wal-Mart and they had seven more left. They were only letting customers purchase one. She got one for her daughter. Could I get there in time? I still had to drop off these darn kids!!! Needless to say, I didn’t make it.
We open our gifts on the morning of Christmas Eve. (Yup…maybe I’ll tell that story later. Maybe I already have. I dunno). We would see Tony’s family (and aforementioned zhu-zhu pet) at Tony’s sister’s house that night. We get there, see everybody, chow down on some fantastic Christmas dinner, and get to the gifts. The kids tear in. I’m watching Chloe with excitement and anticipation. She opens the zhu-zhu, smiles a gigantic smile, runs up to Becca and says “Becca, WE got a zhu-zhu pet!!!”
My heart about exploded. I was so proud. They were so happy. Christmas is beautiful.
Really? Did you think it was gonna end there? Nope. After about an hour, Chloe wasn’t so excited about the sharing. Becca wasn’t complaining (which is not exactly like her). She just sat on the couch very quietly. I did the correct mom thing. We talked about it. She presented her case in a very lady-like, calm manner. Which also made me proud. I told her that the best I could do was to try on the day after Christmas. I would call the stores.
Well, I called. Nothing. So, we head to Amazon and find a zhu-zhu pet with a couple of accessories. But, even with the super-duper-fast-and-expensive shipping, it wouldn’t come until Tuesday. She was OK with that, and started counting down the days. I wasn’t about to spend fifty bucks on this toy and shipping, so I took the offer that Amazon always has for the $40 credit if you open a credit card. Like I need another credit card. But I digress…
That Monday, as I was headed off to work, the UPS man walked up to my car. There it was. Becca’s zhu-zhu.
I ran it up to her. I was the hero. I was better than Santa because SHE got to pick out her zhu-zhu. Mom saved the day! She rocks! Mom can always make it better.
I think the last day they played with zhu-zhu’s was December 30. Which will lead us into New Years Day. And this one goes down in history…
The Shit’s Gettin’ Deep
Posted by: | CommentsI’ve had a shitty week.
Literally.
Lemmie tell ya about it. It all started the day after Thanksgiving. After Chloe made three trips to the bathroom within about a half an hour, and then told me that it hurt when she peed, we headed off to the pediatrician. Right away. Because it was Friday. And I learned my lesson about the emergency room a while ago. Avoid it if you can.
The pediatrician prescribed her an antibiotic. Then she asked a few questions about why she might have a uti. Long story short, Chloe’s…um…plumbing has never really flowed freely. To be blunt, both of my kids poop rabbit turds. They’ve never complained about it, and they’ve never struggled. That’s just how it’s been. The doc suggested that I put Chloe on a mild laxative (mirolax) to get her moving. I guess a bunch of back up could cause a uti. (just a little aside here…it’s funny how much you talk about poop once you become a parent. I mean, mostly when they’re in diapers and potty training. I don’t talk about poop all that much any more. But, to me, talking about poop is sort of like talking about any normal subject, like taxes).
So, after three days or so it all sort of kicked in. Chloe’s a rookie at the whole ‘wiping until you’re clean’ thing, because one swift wipe normally worked with her. So, I’ve been helping her wipe. And that’s poop story number one.
Remember our cutie patootie dog, Rex? Well, I’m not sure what he may have gotten into…or if he caught a bug…but here’s how story number two went: Tuesday night I went to sleep early. Tuesday is Tony’s early night, so he was up with the dog, but I’m not quite sure what time he came to bed. Tony set Rex all up in his crate with his girlfriend and a cushion so he would be more comfortable. When I woke up at 6:30 in the morning, I headed into the bathroom to start getting ready. I heard Rex crying downstairs. He had pooped twice in his cage (and that’s not like him at all). And no, this wasn’t an easy clean up kind of poop. It was very similar to the mirolax-induced poop. I tossed the dog outside and started cleaning poop. Soft things (including a kitchen rug) into the washing machine, cleaning out the tray of his crate. I realized that he needed cleaned also. Got him in the sink, soaped him up and sprayed him down. This was all before my coffee. I make that coffee and realize that I missed some spots. Mostly on Rex. So, he ended up with a bubble bath. I missed spots in the crate. Ugh. I still had to get everybody ready for school and me off to the gym. I made it, but it really was a shitty morning.
What, you say?!?!? There can’t possibly be another poop story in the same week!
Oh, but there is.
Story number three didn’t really involve me too much. Because BOTH of the girls have the same sort of poop going on, I thought it might not be a bad idea to give Becca some of that mirolax, too. Well, Thursday afternoon I got a call from the school nurse. Seems Becca had a little accident in math class and had to change her pants and undies. It wasn’t as terrible as it could have been, it was really just a small bit. The nurse warned me that I needed to give my attention to a bag of clothes in Becca’s backpack as soon as she got home Becca told me that the kids are not allowed to ask to go to the restroom during math class (which I can understand…I can see ALL the kids who hate math having to use the restroom during math class). Becca, always a stickler for the rules at school, tried to wait it out. But just couldn’t. She didn’t really make too big of a deal out of the incident. I thought for sure she would be scarred for life. But it seems she was pretty discrete about the whole thing.
So, I’m happy that this poopy week is just about over. And just as an update for anybody who cares…I’m doing great with the non-smoking thing (a did have a small breakdown, but rebounded nicely the next morning) and I’ve still been going to the gym every day.
Now I’m just waiting for the weight to start coming off so I can show off my future rock hard abs 
(sarcasm…did you hear the sarcasm?)
Have Chicks, Will Travel
Posted by: | CommentsIt has been crazy beautiful here in the ‘burgh for November. It was sunny and sixty five degrees yesterday. As I was going through my normal Saturday morning routine (mostly involving paperwork for the restaurant), I spied with my little eye four free passes to the Pittsburgh zoo that were on my fridge. They were set to expire at the end of December. I looked outside, I looked at the passes, I looked at the kids. ”Who wants to go to the zoo today?”
There was literally cheers and jumping up and down.
So, after we finished all of our work at home, we packed up. We had to stop at the bank and the restaurant first, but then we could have our little adventure. As we were getting ready to go, Becca asked me where my backpack was. I told her it was in the closet….why? She told me that I needed to take it to the zoo. OK, I understood. I told her I didn’t need to take it to the zoo…I didn’t need diapers, wipes, bottles, extra formula, etc. The last time I took Chloe to the zoo, she was just about to turn three. Well…she was out of diapers by then. But I still needed that emergency extra outfit, just in case. (I never actually had to use the extra outfit, but I felt better just having it).
I told the girls that they were much easier to just take along to places now. And they are. I fed them McDonalds in the car. Beautiful. I didn’t have to rent a wagon – they walked the whole time. Chloe was a bit nervous on whether or not the animals could get out. We had a great time – the two favorites were the monkeys and the polar bears. One of the polar bears was in the water, playing with his toys. We ended the day in the Kids Kingdom, running across wobbly bridges, crawling through tunnels and climbing gigantic rope spider webs.
There wasn’t any fighting. Although there were a few attempts to plead for a stuffed animal to take home, they both settled for a huge sucker and a mood ring (yes, I got a mood ring for myself, too – but not a sucker). It was a fantastic afternoon. It was one of those days that I fantasized about when I was awake at 3:00 am feeding a bottle to a cranky infant.
My chicks rock. My family rocks. Although Tony couldn’t be with us yesterday, we get to have an awesome family day today. I’m holding on to yesterday. And next week, when I’m screaming for everybody to stop touching each other, telling Chloe to stop choking the dog and cleaning up everybody’s mess, I’m going to stop, sit down, and think about yesterday.
Maybe it will stop me from having the “Mom Freakout.”
