Friday, the 2oth, was the day that I was getting to celebrate.  Now, I knew that we were having friends over that evening for a deck party.  Tony told me to take the day to myself and be back by 6:00.  Hey, I wasn’t going to fight him on that!  I left the house, and headed to lunch.  I had a nice, quiet, lunch at Friday’s.  No kids bugging me, asking when the food was coming.  I sat at the bar.  It was fantastic.

Next, I headed to the bookstore.  And I didn’t look at one children’s book.  Again, awesome.  Peaceful.  Off to Kohl’s.  I got a piece of art for my new, grown up walls and a new pair of shades.  I poked around the new Kirkland’s that opened near me, and then off to Target.  I bought all new make up.  Lotions.  Soaps.  (OK, I did buy Play-Doh, but it was the one thing I forgot on the back to school list).  Then I went gambling.  Nothing like playing the slots  And you know…even when you go to the Casino with somebody, you always end up splitting up.

So, when I was done I got in the car to go home.  I blared some of my old CD’s (instead of listening to whatever movie the kids are watching).  I listened to the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.  Can’t listen to that with kids in the car.

I got home, gathered my new belongings, and headed up the steps.  When I opened the door, bunches of friends were there IN COSTUME to greet me.  They had planed a 70′s themed party.  It was fantastic.  All the kids had tye-dye on, one of our friends wore classic black roller skates, and Tony looked like this:

There was a ton of food, a fantastic tiramisu cake,  a variety of adult beverages, and it was just a darn good time.  Of course, I had TOO MUCH fun.  We played drinking games that I hadn’t played in FOREVER!!!  We played Drug Dealer, we played Flip Cup.  It was all good.  I fell asleep next to Tony, on the deck, about 1:30 in the morning.  He dealt with the kids all night, and then tucked me into bed.  I spent the entire morning of my ACTUAL birthday on the couch.  But the kids did this for me:

I was a slug all day.  About 5:00 I decided that I needed something greasy and spicy to make me feel better.  I ate the most awesome Italian Hoagie with sausage, hot peppers, green peppers and mushrooms.  It DID make me feel better.  A little.  I still felt it a bit on Sunday, but I made it through.

So, 40 years old.  And what happens today?  The kids went to school.  My baby went to kindergarten.  Which made me feel extra old.  And YOU KNOW how much I’ve complained about the fighting.  But I still cried after they got on the bus.  Hmmph.  Go figure.

40?  Not the end of the world.  I’ll take it

Tomorrow is the last day of school.  Here’s a list of things I’m ready for:

• SLEEPING IN!
• Heading to the matinee
• Lazy mornings in PJ’s
• Trips for ice cream
• The kids splashing in the pool
• The drive in
• Riding bikes on the trail
• Carnivals

Things I’m not looking forward to:

• “I’m bored!”
• “She hit me!”
• “I’m hot!”
• Keeping their brains working

So, I guess I AM looking forward to summer.  But I also get excited about them going back to school.  Seeing that back to school is 76 days away, I’m just going to enjoy the Summer stuff first.  Then I can get excited about new pencils, glue sticks, teachers and outfits.  I’ve decided that I’m going to take some time to ACT LIKE A KID this summer.  I may even put my bathing suit on once or twice.  Why?  Because this is the last summer that I am IN MY THIRTIES!  I’m going to be carefree (I hope), fun and silly.  I will eat popsicles.  I will draw with chalk.  I will jump rope.  I will teach my kids to do a cartwheel.  Don’t get me wrong…I’m not going to be a boring, strict 40 year old.  But I think I’ll suck up the last bit of my thirties, and then get back to ‘the grind’ once I turn 40 and school starts again.

ENJOY THE START OF SUMMER!!!!!

There are parts of summer that get a little trying, though.  Although Becca and Chloe generally get along, there will be afternoons where they can’t be in the same room together without being mean to each other.  I’m sure there will also be lots of “I’m bored!!!” and “There’s nothing to do!”  I’ll take it though.  I think I’m ready.  But if you talk to me in August, I might be singing a different tune.

My friend Marlo asked me yesterday if I was going to be sad that they are both going to be in school all day come the fall.  You know what?  I’m not.  I don’t mean that in a greedy way, though.  I will definitely miss all our little conversations and cuddles.  And I WILL like to have some time back to myself.  But more than anything, I’m proud of them.  I’m proud of they way the girls became great friends on vacation.  I’m proud of they way they made friends in the pool.  I love that they are buddies, and ready to take on the Primary School as a team. I’m proud that they’re not extremely annoying or mean to other people.

I really think that I will enjoy watching them flourish, watching them make more friends, help people and become more confident.  I’m excited for the unknown that will happen as they grow older.  I will mention, though, that my tune may again change when they are older…like 13 and 15.  I can’t see that being too easy.

Have a great weekend, and GET READY FOR SUMMER!

So, here’s what I’m removing from my bucket list:

1. Kill Bill (um, for obvious reasons…and that damn Quentin Tarantino stole my title)
2. Eat 1 pound of grape jelly beans (don’t enjoy puking)
3. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone (again, with the killing…but I have succeeded in what it means, not the literal sense)
4. Meet Brad Pitt. (meh…)
5. Convince Janelle she’s not fat (haven’t seen her in years…)
6. Marry a rich man (but like I said, we can still become rich )
7. Drive on the autobahn (I’ve had my moments of driving 100 mph.  That was enough)

So, I didn’t really take that much off.  Here’s what is still ON the list.  And yes, some of them are pretty odd.  I kept some on just because I figured that if I wanted to do it then, why not just follow through?

1. Skydiving (I MIGHT do this soon)
2. Learn to play the harmonica (I’m planning this when I’m retired and not chasing around children)
3. Ride the skycoaster at Kennywood
4. Snow skiing
5. Water skiing
6. Visit New York City again
7. Play paintball again
8. Ride a dolphin
9. Go to Idaho (hey…why not?)
10. Blow a bubble bigger than my head
11. Milk a cow
12. Surf
13. Parasail
14. See Pearl Jam in concert
15. Build a cool sand castle
16. Pet a giraffe
17. See Letterman
18. Go to Vegas
19. Learn how to fix a car
20. Be in a talk show audience
21. Quit smoking
22. Go to Fiji
23. Get a degree
24. Scuba Diving
25. Get a bitchin’ car
26. Be on a tv show
27. See a volcano
28. Go to Seattle
29. Paint a picture

I figure that if I start planning shortly, I can knock out New York City, seeing Letterman and talk show audience all in one.  Now, here’s what I’m adding to the list:

• Be at my daughters’ graduations/weddings/important life events
• See my grandkids
• Live on the beach
• Either 1. Sell the restaurant or 2. Open another (Neither of these will happen for another three years or so.  I’m not quite sure which one we will ultimately decide on)
• Accept that I don’t have to be right ALL OF THE TIME!!!
• Weigh 130 pounds again (this may not happen until I’m in my seventies…..)
• Develop closer relationships with my family and friends.
• Hire a cleaning lady
• Replace everything in my house that is stained from the kids and dog
• Stop screaming at the kids so much
• Make enough money to afford all this crap

That’s what is in my brain right now.  I may add more.  I may take some off.  I should have my associates degree in December.  I’ll keep you posted on any updates

1. Inspire Bill for  idea for a book (I think I did this that night, but I can’t remember the book idea)
2. Teach Tony a lesson (remember…we were broken up.  And I taught him a lesson – I married him )
3. Learn how to fix a car
4. Be in a talk show audience
5. Roast a turkey – It wasn’t exactly the most fantastic turkey, but it wasn’t terrible
6. Quit smoking – nope, haven’t done that one yet
7. Convince Janelle she’s not fat (Janelle was a co-worker of ours.  She was not fat. Haven’t seen her in years.)
8. Go to Fiji
9. Open a bar (I’m surprised this was on my list back then.  But did it…livin’ the dream)
10. Get a degree (Although I attended college, I never did get a degree.  I’m not sure I want that one to stay on the list, though.  In my opinion, I can learn what I want to learn without getting a degree.  The only reason I would need a degree would be to advance at a job.  I plan on being my own boss for the rest of my life)
11. Drink at Sal’s Bar – Sal’s bar was a little bar in Crafton, PA.  It was an old guy bar. But I always wanted to go in.  I did.  It burned down a few years after I went in, so it’s a good thing I crossed it off when I did.
12. Get a tattoo – I did that.  Twice.  And they were both during that ‘break-up year.’
13. Marry a rich man – Semantics, semantics.  Tony was not rich when we married.  We are not rich now.  But who’s to say we won’t become rich?  I’m holding out for that.
14. Scuba Diving – I’ve been snorkeling, but never scuba diving.
15. Get a bitchin’ car – Yeah, that’s still on the list.  Unless you count a Chrysler Pacifica as a bitchin’ car.   No?  I didn’t think so
16. Drive on the autoban – Another interesting one….
17. Be on a t.v. show
18. See a volcano
19. Belly button pierced – that was when I was skinny.  No more.
20. Go to Seattle
21. Finish this list (I think it was actually ‘finish writing this list.’  That’s why it’s crossed off)
22. Paint a picture

So, that was the bucket list from way back when.  Sorry I didn’t get to finish this weekend.  I met up with old friends, headed to the science center, cleaned, napped…it was all good.

Anyway, you’ll notice that there’s no mention of kids or a family on this list.  Well, if I had written this list either six months earlier or six months later, that stuff would have been on there.   But, as I said, I was a woman scorned at the time, and had (temporarily) given up on the whole “white picket fence, 2.2 kids, American dream” thing.

I’m going to work on this list.  And, I think I’ll create a new one.  I may leave some stuff off that’s on this old list.  But I have plenty more to add.  I’ll need to think about it a little.  I’d love to see your bucket list!  Please share   You can leave a link in the comments here, or send me something on twitter (@hdowney) or facebook (facebook.com/heatherdowney).

Have a great day!

Anyway, I was poking around in the garage, seeing if I had enough crap to participate in our neighborhood garage sale.  I didn’t get very much accomplished, but I DID come across a bunch of old memories.  I looked through yearbooks.  I found an old program from my High School musical.  And I found this:

It’s a list of things I want to do before I die.  There’s some more on the other side, so I’ll save that for tomorrow. So, let’s investigate this a little further, mmmmkay?  Just remember – when I wrote this I was 24, drinking beer in a bar, and Tony and I were ‘on a break.’ (read:  he broke up with me, and we didn’t get back together for a year).

1. Kill Bill (Bill was my very good friend at the time. I didn’t really want to kill him, but he must have been getting on my nerves)
2. Skydiving – Yes, I’ve had the opportunity a couple of times recently.  I will do this.  Maybe next year.
3. Learn to play the harmonica – Interesting…
4. New Ride at Kennywood.  I still haven’t ridden this.  At this time, the new ride was the Skycoaster. I just haven’t gotten to it yet, because I’m not a fan of parting with the money.  But I will.
5. Ice Skating – I had done it when I wrote this, but I wanted to make sure I did it again.  I did
6. Roller Skating – Um, same as number 5
7. White Water Rafting – Did it, had fun, drank beer after.
8. Skiing (Ski) – I think I meant snow skiing here I’ve still never gone. I don’t really want to.  But I should do it once in my life
9. Skiing (Water) – Again, never did it.  Don’t really WANT to, but I should.
10. NYC – I have been to New York.  We went in high school and saw Cats.  But I want to go back one more time.
11. Disney World – When I wrote this, I had only been there as a kid.  I have since gone with Tony a couple of times.
12. Cancun – Yup, same as number eleven.
13. Paintball – I have played paintball.  But I don’t think (although I’m not exactly sure) that I’ve done it again since I wrote this list.
14. Ride a Dolphin
15. Go to Idaho (Please, remember…I was drinking when I wrote this…no offense to anybody in Idaho)
16. Move Out – I did this a few months after writing this
17. Blow a bubble bigger than my head
18. Milk a cow
19. Surf
20. Parasail
21. See Pearl Jam in concert (Not so sure I’m up for concerts, but I’d try again for Pearl Jam.  I think.)
22. Eat 1 lb of grape jelly beans (There’s no way I could do it in one sitting, though)
23. Build a cool sand castle (I’ve build sand castles, but nothing really COOL)
24. Pet a giraffe
25. See Letterman
26. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone ( I think I meant this literally…if not, I can cross it off)
27. Go to Vegas (Yup, never been to Vegas)
28. Meet Brad Pitt

Stay tuned for 29-50 tomorrow!

Yup, Becca wants to give me an indoor pool.  Not quite sure where we would put that one…and I think it may be more for HER.

Yup, this one makes me cry.  How totally sweet.  Really, I look like ass in the morning.   But at least I have my daughters snowed.  And I’m not sure why I don’t have any clothes on in this picture, but I don’t sleep in the buff.  I’m always too cold for that.  Now the next one has a little story:

Now, at first look it seems innocent enough.  ”My favorite thing about my mother is we both like to play.”  I was reading the little book/card out loud.  When I got to this page, Becca exclaimed “Hey!  It’s not supposed to say we both like to play!  It’s suppposed to say we both want a slave!”

More later

Now that was fun. Because I was at my folks’ house, there was a treasure chest of old photos. I tried not to be TOO embarrassing. Well, not to anybody else, anyway. I really don’t mind embarrassing myself. At all. Anyway, here are some of the pics that I posted, for your viewing pleasure.

I actually posted the entire class picture, but I didn’t want to step on any toes here on the blog. But, do you see that? Would you like to compare Look at Chloe:

Now, there’s a 3 year age difference here, and I was limited to whatever pics I have on my laptop (‘cuz I’m comfy on the couch, here), but there really is a crazy resemblance. I mean, she does have my genes and all…so I shouldn’t be surprised. So, here is what she may look like in 17 years:

My entire family thought I looked like Joanna Kearns in this picture. I guess I sort of do.

So, where have I been going with this? Well, since being on Facebook and catching up with lots of old friends (from grade school and high school), I’ve been reflecting a bit. To be quite honest with you, there are large chunks of grade school and high school that I don’t remember. I mean, I remember the big things that happened, and if somebody tells a story I may remember some of the smaller things. But I don’t remember the details. And I’m fine with that. I’ve never been one to dwell on the past. Ever. If I’m looking at old photos, my brain might dance there for a while, but I’ve never been a ‘Coulda, shoulda, woulda’ kind of girl. My focus is always on the future. (So much so that I sometimes forget to enjoy the present). And I like it that way.

There were a bunch of us commenting on a photo from high school, and the conversation turned towards what we would have done different in high school. I’ll be the first to admit…high school wasn’t all peaches and cream. And my first instinct is that I would have not worried about boyfriends and spent more time with friends. But then I realized that if I didn’t go through EXACTLY what I went through when I was younger, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. If I didn’t date the people I dated, befriend the people I befriended, go to the parties I went to, have ALL of the relationships I’ve had…I may be different right now. And I like me. Yes, there are some things I would like to improve. But all in all, I’m good company for myself.

And hopefully I’m good company for you! So, it’s now 2:30 am. I’ve had four hours of sleep already, and I think I’ll head up for 3 or 4 more.

That whole ‘improve’ thing. Definitely want to improve my sleeping schedule!!!!

1. I think college is overrated, but I’ll never tell my kids that
2. I watch ‘Dazed and Confused’ whenever I come across it on tv
3. I make the best damned sweet tea
4. Bananas make me sick (literally)
5. I still have dreams that I work at West Coast Video (I worked there until I was 23)
6. I have a goal of making my living completely online
7. I believe in the Law of Attraction
8. I think I have a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder
9. Even after being a bartender and owning a restaurant, I don’t really like dealing with real, live people.
10. I actually used to like Milli Vanilli (before the lip sync thing was revealed)
11. I secretly want to be a Rock Star
12. Watching people put a napkin or paper towel in their mouth totally gives me the heebie-jeebies. Like nails down a chalk board.
13. I don’t know how to drive a stick shift
14. My father made me do donuts the first time it snowed after I got my license. MADE me.
15. My oldest daughter was 4 lbs and 6 weeks early
16. Once I found out the oldest daughter was perfectly healthy, I was SOOOOO glad I wasn’t pregnant anymore.
17. I gave my oldest daughter my middle name (Gwen)
18. My younger daughter’s middle name is for my parents (Rayann = RAY + Carol ANN)
19. I truly believe I met my Father In Law in one very vivid dream right before my Mother In Law passed away.
20. I worry about my parents – But still think my Dad is the smartest guy I know
21. I want to lose 20 pounds
22. I hate to paint walls, but like to paint furniture
23. The word ‘Warshing” (Pittsburgh-ese for washing) goes right through me.
24. I think that I can sing ‘Mercedes Benz’ very well. This has never been confirmed.
25. I don’t like to go into the ocean.