Last night we told Chloe that if she had been a boy, her name was going to be Cletus.  Tony kept saying stuff about chewing tobacco and missing teeth.  It COMPLETELY got a rise out of her, so we just kept calling her Cletus.  She started screaming, with extreme passion in her eyes, “My name’s not Cletus!!!”  Finally, she broke down, yelled at Tony, and said “It’s on like Donkey Kong, Dad.”

After a few kid punches and her being held upside down, Tony asked, “OK, you really wanna fight?  You wanna fight?”  She, of course, said yes.  Then Tony said a line that I’VE never heard before, but I guess he used to say it when he was a kid.  It was:  ”Well then climb up my ass and fight for air.”

I about lost it.  It just struck me as so darn funny, that I couldn’t stop laughing.  Tears STREAMED down my face.  That, of course, got Tony laughing.  Hard.  The kids really had no idea why we were laughing so hard, but they joined in too.

It was exactly what we needed.  These winter blahs were broken, even if it was only for fifteen minutes.

Although today is December 1st, I’m not finished with the Christmas shopping.  HOWEVER, I did get done shopping for the kids, and some of the other gifts.  I’m completely happy with my progress so far.  I bought a huge bag of Hershey kisses, just waiting for some store bought peanut butter cookie dough (yeah, close enough for me).  On Saturday, the girls and I cuddled and watched A Christmas Story.  The girls picked it, and that made me happy  Let me share this with you:

Anyway, we had a great time.

Yesterday, we went to Build-A-Bear. I had promised to take them a couple of weeks ago, if they were good. Well, they weren’t exactly stellar, which explains the two weeks between “saying” and “going.” They were totally stoked about getting Rudolph and Clarice. Here’s a picture of them waiting for Santa:

Then, I took one of them on their own. There is one of Chloe by herself, and then there’s this:

I took the picture, looked at it, and literally LOL-ed.

They weren’t exactly dressed to get for the official Santa picture, but they did want to go and see the big guy.  So, we waited in line a bit and it was their turn.  Chloe wasn’t sure what she was going to ask for.  Becca knew exactly what she was asking for…a DSi.  I asked Chloe if SHE wanted a DSi, and explained that if Becca got one, she surely would want to play with one, too.  She said “no.”  Well, tough shit for her…she’s getting one.

So, they get on the lap and start chatting.  Becca very politely said that she would like “A DSi and a couple of games, please.”  Chloe just froze.  She changed the subject, explaining all the stockings that we hung to Santa (one for the dog, one for the fish).  He asked her what she wanted, and she said “a ball.”

Classic.

She then added that she would just like some surprises, too.  Had to write about it, because I NEVER want to forget that evening.  Never.

Sorry.

Shit happens.  But everything has been pretty good.  A trip to Girl Scout Camp for the day, chugging right along with every day life.  I’m still determined to get my Christmas shopping done by the first week of December.  Even though I’ve only bought two gifts so far.

Meh.

I did get one gift for OURSELVES today…we bought an elliptical machine from Costco.  It got delivered (and built…by somebody else!) today.  So, no I feel obligated to have a little work out TONIGHT.  Last year when I was going to the gym, I got on the elliptical machine about 95% of the time.  I took a stray class here and there, but I really felt like I could zone out on the elliptical (read:  not feel like I was actually exercising).  So, SQUEE!  Maybe I’ll lose some weight

We had a visit from the stomach flu this week.  Only Chloe and Tony got it badly…Becca and I just felt icky, but that was it.  Cute story about Chloe:  Her teacher told me that she was just not herself that morning at school.  She did a lot of sitting with her head down.  Then, she quietly got up and went to the bathroom (there’s a bathroom in their classroom).  She came out, sat at her desk and got her pencil.  The teacher asked Chloe, “Chloe…did you throw up in there?”  Chloe said yes, but she felt better now.  The teacher asked if she wanted another child to walk down to the nurse with her.  Chloe said “no.”  So, the teacher said, “Do you just want to walk down by yourself?”  Chloe said, “No, I don’t want to go to the nurse at all.”

She’s a big fan of school.

She was very upset when I picked her up at the nurse’s office and told her that she had to stay home the next day, too.  Luckily, she was only all pukey for about six hours.  She still stayed home from school the following day, but she got to run errands with me.

It was nice to have some alone time with her.  And I got alone time with Becca the night prior to that.  We went to Costco together while Tony and Chloe stayed home.

My kids are really fun to be around when they’re alone.  It cuts out the whole sister-competition thing.

Thanks for listening, and I’ll try to write again before Thanksgiving.  By the way, I’m heading out shopping on Black Friday.  I think I swore it off last year, but it’s been a whole year…It can’t be that bad, right?

Jeff came walking onto the deck in his uniform.  Chloe casually walked up to me, looking VERY concerned.  She put her hand up to her mouth to tell me a secret.  In a very concerned voice, she asked me, “Mom, Why is Jeffrey bald?”

LOL!  I explained about Army haircuts, and asked if she liked it.  No, she wasn’t a big fan.  Jeff’s hair was much longer and curly before he went away.  However, she did like giving his new hair cut a little rub before she went to bed.  Hey, she learned something new.

She lost it until September 6th.

The television was the prize in a battle of wills between the two of us.  A battle of wills?  Guess what.  I’m gonna win every. single. time.  There was screaming, there was crying.  In the middle of all of this she told me (in a very high pitched, loud voice) that she was going to call my mom and tell her how mean I was being to her.

So I dialed the number for her.

Grandma told her that maybe she should take a rest.

Score one for Mom (and Grandma).

She hated me for about an hour, but all is good now.  The hate came back for a bit right before bed,  but she’s decided not to move out.

God, I can’t WAIT until she’s a teenager.

(as I’m writing this…I just broke up a fight…and yelled for her to not stomp up the steps)

Anyway, I have a full week to myself, and it’s getting filled.  Work tomorrow, get my hair done on Tuesday, take the dog to the vet on Wednesday.  I’m thinking that Thursday might be a day to stay in my jammies extra long and read a book.  Or watch a rated R movie.  At 11:00 in the morning.  Imagine that.

But it just hit me that, after that first week, I have to start school.  It’s only two classes, and I’ll definitely have the time to do it.  It’s all online.  One of the classes is a programming class, which I’m looking forward to.  It won’t really be like ‘work’ because I actually enjoy that kind of stuff.  But the other class?  English Comp 2.  Blech.  It’s the last class I need for my Associates Degree (it’s an associates degree in, well, general-I-couldn’t-make-up-my-mind-what-to-be-when-I-grow-up stuff).  Now, I don’t really mind writing.  But I like writing here…in that conversational tone.  Official papers with footnotes and references?  Papers in which I need to force an opinion on somebody.  Ewwww, HATE IT!  So guess what?  I’m gonna come here to complain.

Consider that your fair warning

Can’t wait!

I have to share a little funny with you from yesterday. I was going through the junk mail, and there was a bunch of stuff from Kohl’s. First, YAY!, I got a 30% off coupon for next week. That just means shopping. Can’t pass that up. Second, there was a separate book with ‘intimates.’ This was the picture that was on the front:

I’d guess that would be a giraffe print? Maybe a ‘crackle” bra?  Well, Chloe set me straight.  She hopped up to the kitchen island where this ad was sitting and stated, “Mom!  That lady is wearing a steak bra!”

Classic.

Have a great weekend!

There was damage everywhere.  Trampolines were ruined, tons of shingles were missing (thankfully, not from my house).  And the icing on the cake?  No electricity.  If you’ve never experienced a loss of power with small children, you are missing small people asking you the same thing about eight bazillion times.  ”When is the power coming back on?!?!”

We got through the first hour and a half pretty easily.  I actually took a little nap while they watched the battery operated television we have.  Then it died.  So, I told them to just play!  It wasn’t dark.  So they did play blocks for a while, and they were ok (aside from fitting that famous question in whenever they could).  We got a bath and got ready for bed.  Still no power.  I was figuring that it would come back overnight.  No such luck.  They woke me up at 6:50 am.  I very calmly (but sternly) looked at them with my one open eye.

“Can you do me a favor?  Brush your teeth, get an outfit and brush your hair.  Mommy needs some coffee, so we’re going out for pancakes.”

That took the edge off.  We had a great breakfast, went to Downey’s House, I did my work and we came home.  And, YAY! We had power.

Everybody made it through the “big ordeal” just fine.  Except maybe for the dog.  He starts to whimper every time it starts to sprinkle when he’s outside.

One little snippet from the weekend that I have to share.  As we (which includes Tony) were out and about yesterday, there was a “gentleman” who just wouldn’t let me in to merge while I was driving.  He wasn’t very nice.  Tony let him know that while he was looking in his rear view mirror.  I’m sure the man read Tony’s lips while he said “Thanks for letting her in, Dickhead!”

Becca promptly said “Yeah!  You’re a stickhead, man.”

I’m sure glad she said THAT.

Next?  Hair cuts for the girls.  Then we were off to neighborhood happy hour.  Beer and snacks for me, and lots of kids, swings and a trampoline for the kids.  We had a great time, and we didn’t leave until midnight.  I must say, I have a great bunch of neighbors.  The only thing missing on Friday were mani/pedis

Saturday I got to see my brother and his family, and enjoy the AWESOME EASTER BREAD that my Dad makes.  He ships it up to us from Florida.  Yummy.  I thought for sure that the girls would be sooooo tired that they would have fallen asleep by 8:00.  notsomuch.  I think the bath (that I couldn’t skip, because they were absolutely filthy) woke them up.  Easter involved another egg hunt (in which both of my kids won prizes – THANK GOD!) and dinner with family.  Beautiful weather all weekend.

Today they spent the day at my sister-in-law’s while I went to work.  Another beautiful day.

I’ll end the update with a couple of things that Chloe said.  Last night she asked me if, when you go into the hospital to get your baby taken out, do they give you a tattoo?  I explained that no, that’s not how it works.  When she asked for more info, I told her that, WHEN I WAS A GROWN UP, I paid a tattoo artist to give me a tattoo.  She told me that she wants a star tattoo.  Then I told her how much it hurts.

She’s weighing all the facts.

At my sister-in-law’s today, while Chloe was inside and my SIL was outside, she opened the door and asked “Aunt Missy, is skin meat?”

Uh….OK.

And I’ll leave you with that.

As we were walking through the bakery (because I told Chloe she could get cookies), we browsed.  Have you seen the Costco cupcakes?  They are gigantic!  I mean, they have to be three times the size of a normal cupcake.  Chloe then asked me if the food in there is made for REALLY big people.  Yup, I guess so.  I do have to say, though, that I DIDN’T buy the coconut cream pie because it was just too damn big.  And I would have to eat the entire thing.

We paid for our groceries, and stopped to buy our customary churro.  As we were driving home, Chloe talked to me about what she did in school today.  They were talking about weather.  She said “Mom.  Weather is either a tiger or a sheep.”

:::huh?:::

OOOHHHHHHH, you mean either a lion or a lamb?  OK, I get it.

By the way, today got a lamb

So, it was St. Patrick’s Day and I went to get our personal taxes done started.  It was a beautiful day.  Sunny and warm.  Tony caught me on my cell just as I was leaving the accountant.  He needed some supplies for the bar…could I stop somewhere?  No problem.  I headed to Wal-Fart, which meant I had to pass the DQ.  (Now that I live out in the ‘burbs, I don’t drive past a DQ very often).  It was open!  I got right back on that cell and screamed to Tony “DAIRY QUEEN IS OPEN!!!!”  I never seem to stop on that very first day I see that it’s open.  I save it.  I plan for it.

The days passed.  We had fantastic weather.  There was bike riding, chalk drawing, basketball, roller skating, swings, bubbles.  All that good stuff.  Well, yesterday I made the plan.  I told the girls that we could head to DQ after dinner.  Ice Cream?  Sprinkles?  They were in.  As we were getting ready to head out, I looked at them.

Oh my gosh.  To put it nicely, it looked like they had a fun day.  Becca had a gigantic splash of mud on the back of her shirt from throwing various objects into the sandbox-that-is-now-a-science-experiment-because-it’s-filled-with-water.  She had biker shorts on. Both of their hair?  Mess.  Chloe had on some hand me down flowered corduroys that were too short.  I made her change her pants, brushed some hair, and had them cover up with some hoodies.  Becca looked at me and said “Mom!  Why do we have to look nice?  We’re going to get ice cream, not to a wedding!”

Smart ass.  She’s never even been to a wedding.

We had a great night, got to the DQ before there was a long line, and headed to the park for a couple of hours.  Chloe passed out on the couch as soon as we got home.  Slept in her outfit all night.

Sure beats what was happening a month ago…more than two feet of snow and being stuck in the house for a week.  Glad that’s a distant memory!

Enjoy whatever weather YOU have!!!!