Crazy Eyes


You might not know this, but my eyes are TERRIBLE.  I mean, most people know that I wear contacts.  But most have NO IDEA how terrible my eyes really are.  For instance, when I go to bed, I can’t see the alarm clock.  The alarm clock that is about twelve inches from my head.

I have some other issues, too.  I have very high pressure in my eyes.  In fact, I am just on the borderline of having glaucoma.  Now, the doc said that I have ‘thick corneas,’ which means that my gold ol’ eyeballs can withstand that pressure.  Everything else looks pretty hunky dory.  I’m just telling my eyeballs that they need to hang in there for another 50 years or so.

A long time ago, when I was in my early twenties, I went to a different eye doctor.  The pressure was high in my eyes back then, too.  I’m pretty easy going when I’m at the doctor, and I joke around a lot.  I guess that made him comfortable, and he asked me if I ever smoked.  Not cigarettes.  I told him that I had dabbled a bit, but I didn’t do that on a regular basis.  (I WAS in my twenties, you know).  I told this story to my current eye doctor.  He laughed and said “Well, it would lower your pressure.”


So, I asked, “Are you saying that if I lived in California, I could get  a prescription for medical marijuana?”  He told me that yes, I probably could.

Isn’t that an interesting little tidbit to know?  Don’t worry…I’m not packing up.  I’m staying right here in the ‘Burgh.  I’ll take Islay’s chipped ham, Primanti sandwiches and the Steelers over a big fat doobie any day.

Categories : funny, life

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