Old Men in Hats


Today we had the first little round of REAL snow flurries around here.  The kids were excited, and chased them around trying to catch them on their tongues.


I knew I had to drive to the North Side, while the Pitt game was happening (crappy loss) in this ‘first snow.’ I was pleasantly surprised, though.  It wasn’t too bad driving.  Usually those first flakes just freak people out.  Seems that us Pittsburghers don’t really get used to driving in the snow until maybe February.  I’m guessing that all the bad drivers were going to the mall.  I’ve come to this conclusion after driving on Black Friday.

Maybe it was due to lack of sleep, or the sheer excitement of ‘getting the deal.’  But there were many drivers (I hate to say it, but many WOMEN drivers) who either forgot how to drive or never learned.  There wasn’t a mass amount of traffic.  But still, there were problems merging onto the highway.  I merged in behind a white minivan who then continued to drive 45 miles per hour on the highway.

It’s a good thing my patience is one of my greatest traits.

My father, because he was a cop on the streets for so many years, has his own theories about drivers.  And the older I get, the more they turn out to be true.  These are the two that have stuck with me (although I’m sure there are more, right Dad?)

  1. All the bad drivers come out on Sunday.  It’s a fact.  When I used to work at the airport, I worked every Sunday.  I would start at all different times of the day, from 6:00 in the morning to 4:00 in the afternoon.  EVERY SUNDAY I would have problems with other drivers.  Usually they were going to slow, or were afraid to do things like merge.  Or they would stop for green lights.  Maybe they thought they were about to turn yellow.  Who knows.
  2. Never drive behind an old man in a hat.  They are terrible, slow drivers.  Over my past 23 years of driving I’ve put this one to the test.  I get behind old men in hats just to test the theory.  I’ve never gotten behind an old man in a hat who is a good driver.  Never.  I’m not sure if it has something to do with the hat or not.

You may have already known these things.  But we sometimes forget to tell our children, nieces and nephews who are new drivers.  So, consider this a public service message.  Tell all the newer drivers in your life to remember these two things.

And please, please….don’t become an old man in a hat.

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