Archive for December, 2009
Me and My Bright Ideas
Posted by: | CommentsI’ve been going to the gym faithfully, five or six times a week, for about a month now. I didn’t take advantage of the ‘new member, 1 hour long orientation.’ I probably should…I still might. Simply going on the bikes or the elliptical (my favorite) is starting to get a little stale…I need to mix it up a bit. The weight machines? They sort of intimidate me. I’ve never been very into exercise on purpose. I mean, in high school I was a cheerleader and on drill team, so I kept my body moving. But until the past few years, I’ve never thought “I should exercise.” So, Tony and I are going to the gym together on Monday. He’s going to act like my gay trainer (Why gay? I don’t know…but he does a great flaming gay guy. Gay guys are just fun). He knows how to use all those crazy weight machines, so I’ll get a crash course.
Now, this week I was on the elliptical four out of the five times I was at the gym. So, come Saturday I felt like my body needed a bit of a break. My thigh muscles were just begging for it. I checked out the class schedule and saw that there was a yoga class. Hmmm. Yoga. Stretching, calming, being one with your body. So I took the yoga class.
Holy crap, it kicked my ass.
I have sore muscles where I forgot there were muscles. I think I cramped up about four times during the class. I’m going back to my beloved elliptical machine today. And I’m taking some Advil.
So be careful…yoga isn’t some pansy thing. Will I try the yoga class again? Meh, not any time soon. Maybe after I lose the weight I want to lose I’ll try it again.
Maybe.
Old Men in Hats
Posted by: | CommentsToday we had the first little round of REAL snow flurries around here. The kids were excited, and chased them around trying to catch them on their tongues.
Me?
I knew I had to drive to the North Side, while the Pitt game was happening (crappy loss) in this ‘first snow.’ I was pleasantly surprised, though. It wasn’t too bad driving. Usually those first flakes just freak people out. Seems that us Pittsburghers don’t really get used to driving in the snow until maybe February. I’m guessing that all the bad drivers were going to the mall. I’ve come to this conclusion after driving on Black Friday.
Maybe it was due to lack of sleep, or the sheer excitement of ‘getting the deal.’ But there were many drivers (I hate to say it, but many WOMEN drivers) who either forgot how to drive or never learned. There wasn’t a mass amount of traffic. But still, there were problems merging onto the highway. I merged in behind a white minivan who then continued to drive 45 miles per hour on the highway.
It’s a good thing my patience is one of my greatest traits.
My father, because he was a cop on the streets for so many years, has his own theories about drivers. And the older I get, the more they turn out to be true. These are the two that have stuck with me (although I’m sure there are more, right Dad?)
- All the bad drivers come out on Sunday. It’s a fact. When I used to work at the airport, I worked every Sunday. I would start at all different times of the day, from 6:00 in the morning to 4:00 in the afternoon. EVERY SUNDAY I would have problems with other drivers. Usually they were going to slow, or were afraid to do things like merge. Or they would stop for green lights. Maybe they thought they were about to turn yellow. Who knows.
- Never drive behind an old man in a hat. They are terrible, slow drivers. Over my past 23 years of driving I’ve put this one to the test. I get behind old men in hats just to test the theory. I’ve never gotten behind an old man in a hat who is a good driver. Never. I’m not sure if it has something to do with the hat or not.
You may have already known these things. But we sometimes forget to tell our children, nieces and nephews who are new drivers. So, consider this a public service message. Tell all the newer drivers in your life to remember these two things.
And please, please….don’t become an old man in a hat.
The Shit’s Gettin’ Deep
Posted by: | CommentsI’ve had a shitty week.
Literally.
Lemmie tell ya about it. It all started the day after Thanksgiving. After Chloe made three trips to the bathroom within about a half an hour, and then told me that it hurt when she peed, we headed off to the pediatrician. Right away. Because it was Friday. And I learned my lesson about the emergency room a while ago. Avoid it if you can.
The pediatrician prescribed her an antibiotic. Then she asked a few questions about why she might have a uti. Long story short, Chloe’s…um…plumbing has never really flowed freely. To be blunt, both of my kids poop rabbit turds. They’ve never complained about it, and they’ve never struggled. That’s just how it’s been. The doc suggested that I put Chloe on a mild laxative (mirolax) to get her moving. I guess a bunch of back up could cause a uti. (just a little aside here…it’s funny how much you talk about poop once you become a parent. I mean, mostly when they’re in diapers and potty training. I don’t talk about poop all that much any more. But, to me, talking about poop is sort of like talking about any normal subject, like taxes).
So, after three days or so it all sort of kicked in. Chloe’s a rookie at the whole ‘wiping until you’re clean’ thing, because one swift wipe normally worked with her. So, I’ve been helping her wipe. And that’s poop story number one.
Remember our cutie patootie dog, Rex? Well, I’m not sure what he may have gotten into…or if he caught a bug…but here’s how story number two went: Tuesday night I went to sleep early. Tuesday is Tony’s early night, so he was up with the dog, but I’m not quite sure what time he came to bed. Tony set Rex all up in his crate with his girlfriend and a cushion so he would be more comfortable. When I woke up at 6:30 in the morning, I headed into the bathroom to start getting ready. I heard Rex crying downstairs. He had pooped twice in his cage (and that’s not like him at all). And no, this wasn’t an easy clean up kind of poop. It was very similar to the mirolax-induced poop. I tossed the dog outside and started cleaning poop. Soft things (including a kitchen rug) into the washing machine, cleaning out the tray of his crate. I realized that he needed cleaned also. Got him in the sink, soaped him up and sprayed him down. This was all before my coffee. I make that coffee and realize that I missed some spots. Mostly on Rex. So, he ended up with a bubble bath. I missed spots in the crate. Ugh. I still had to get everybody ready for school and me off to the gym. I made it, but it really was a shitty morning.
What, you say?!?!? There can’t possibly be another poop story in the same week!
Oh, but there is.
Story number three didn’t really involve me too much. Because BOTH of the girls have the same sort of poop going on, I thought it might not be a bad idea to give Becca some of that mirolax, too. Well, Thursday afternoon I got a call from the school nurse. Seems Becca had a little accident in math class and had to change her pants and undies. It wasn’t as terrible as it could have been, it was really just a small bit. The nurse warned me that I needed to give my attention to a bag of clothes in Becca’s backpack as soon as she got home 
Becca told me that the kids are not allowed to ask to go to the restroom during math class (which I can understand…I can see ALL the kids who hate math having to use the restroom during math class). Becca, always a stickler for the rules at school, tried to wait it out. But just couldn’t. She didn’t really make too big of a deal out of the incident. I thought for sure she would be scarred for life. But it seems she was pretty discrete about the whole thing.
So, I’m happy that this poopy week is just about over. And just as an update for anybody who cares…I’m doing great with the non-smoking thing (a did have a small breakdown, but rebounded nicely the next morning) and I’ve still been going to the gym every day.
Now I’m just waiting for the weight to start coming off so I can show off my future rock hard abs 
(sarcasm…did you hear the sarcasm?)
