Big Ball of Contradiction


Sometimes I just can’t figure myself out.

For the longest time I swore that we would never have a dog.  And now?  I have a dog.

I have also said that, for me, getting a degree (which I never DID actually get, even though I attended college) was not important.  I felt that I would always work for myself, and I could learn things on my own if I needed to.

Wanna know what I’ve been doing for the past couple of days?

Looking at school.

I’ve been checking out different programs, looking at how much things cost and contemplating what I want to be when I grow up.  Our life could actually go on just fine the way it is.  I’m the work at home mommy, Tony heads off to the restaurant to work.  We are financially comfortable, but it sometimes gets difficult to stash for a rainy day or make large purchases (like the deck we never put on our house).  The work that I do for the restaurant can GENERALLY be done in an hour or two a day.  But lately I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do when Chloe heads off to kindergarten next year.

Now, don’t get me wrong…for a week or two I’d love to get them on the bus, come home, and go back to bed.  I have plenty of sleeping to catch up on.  But after that?  Who knows.

When I went to college after high school, I didn’t really go because I WANTED to go.  I went because I was SUPPOSED to go.  I didn’t have a plan.  I switched majors.  I tried different classes.  I was an education major.  I was a math major.  I was in engineering.  I think for a semester it was computer science, too.  But I was young, I was having fun, and when I started tending bar I had enough money to live.  I didn’t have any sort of burning desire. I didn’t have a dream.  Tony ALWAYS wanted to have a bar.  He had a goal.  Me?  notsomuch

I found a great program that I could take online.  It’s for Internet Marketing, which is something I’ve already dabbled in.  It’s through Full Sail University (which is physically in Winter Park, FL).  It’s something I’m already interested in.  It would give me some skills that I could use to gain employment OR help me to make money online.  But here’s the deal:  The program is $53,000.  Remember above when I said it’s hard to make large purchases?  Well, that’s a pretty big one.  And there’s no need to add that much to our little pile of debt.

So, I’ve been poking around CCAC (our local community college), and they have a couple of programs I’m interested in.  I pulled up my transcript.  I was amazed that I actually have 61 college credits.  (I actually have more!  Some are over at Pitt, but I can’t pull my transcript up online).  So, I think I’m going to give them a call this week and talk to an advisor.  There are even two programs that I can take online (an associates degree and a certificate).

But, uh, that whole thing I said about not wanting or needing a degree?

I’m a woman, and I’m entitled to change my mind.

I wonder what else I’m going to change my mind about.  For the love of god, if I start listening to country music, watching professional basketball or cooking a healthy dinner every day somebody smack me!

Categories : growing up, life


  1. Jenn says:

    In my humble opinion, $53,000 is too, too much to pay since you have plenty of experience and many different skills now. I’ll help you keep the country music, etc. in check because they are on my list of nevers, too.

  2. Mike says:


    I would make sure you enter a program that is geared toward ADULTS. By which I mean they will respect the experience you bring from life as well as the fact that you have young children. Pitt was less than receptive to those facts, particularly in the education department.

  3. Heather says:

    I’m gonna talk to CCAC…I’ll call them tomorrow. I’ll see if they have a good direction for me to go, and they probably have some ideas of where to go AFTER I finish up some stuff there.

    I think :)

  4. "Pete" says:

    Go back to school if you want to. Don’t ever regret the decisions that you make with your life, the next one always seems better than the last one, and always chase your dreams. Going back to school makes you a great roll model for your children, especially when you can sit down at night and both share your day at school together.

    There are times that I wish that I would have gotten my administration paper work, but then I would not have had the great experiences of the stage and working with some of the most wonderful kids in the world. That was my best decision, not going back.

Leave a Reply