Sometimes I just can’t figure myself out.

For the longest time I swore that we would never have a dog.  And now?  I have a dog.

I have also said that, for me, getting a degree (which I never DID actually get, even though I attended college) was not important.  I felt that I would always work for myself, and I could learn things on my own if I needed to.

Wanna know what I’ve been doing for the past couple of days?

Looking at school.

I’ve been checking out different programs, looking at how much things cost and contemplating what I want to be when I grow up.  Our life could actually go on just fine the way it is.  I’m the work at home mommy, Tony heads off to the restaurant to work.  We are financially comfortable, but it sometimes gets difficult to stash for a rainy day or make large purchases (like the deck we never put on our house).  The work that I do for the restaurant can GENERALLY be done in an hour or two a day.  But lately I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do when Chloe heads off to kindergarten next year.

Now, don’t get me wrong…for a week or two I’d love to get them on the bus, come home, and go back to bed.  I have plenty of sleeping to catch up on.  But after that?  Who knows.

When I went to college after high school, I didn’t really go because I WANTED to go.  I went because I was SUPPOSED to go.  I didn’t have a plan.  I switched majors.  I tried different classes.  I was an education major.  I was a math major.  I was in engineering.  I think for a semester it was computer science, too.  But I was young, I was having fun, and when I started tending bar I had enough money to live.  I didn’t have any sort of burning desire. I didn’t have a dream.  Tony ALWAYS wanted to have a bar.  He had a goal.  Me?  notsomuch

I found a great program that I could take online.  It’s for Internet Marketing, which is something I’ve already dabbled in.  It’s through Full Sail University (which is physically in Winter Park, FL).  It’s something I’m already interested in.  It would give me some skills that I could use to gain employment OR help me to make money online.  But here’s the deal:  The program is $53,000.  Remember above when I said it’s hard to make large purchases?  Well, that’s a pretty big one.  And there’s no need to add that much to our little pile of debt.

So, I’ve been poking around CCAC (our local community college), and they have a couple of programs I’m interested in.  I pulled up my transcript.  I was amazed that I actually have 61 college credits.  (I actually have more!  Some are over at Pitt, but I can’t pull my transcript up online).  So, I think I’m going to give them a call this week and talk to an advisor.  There are even two programs that I can take online (an associates degree and a certificate).

But, uh, that whole thing I said about not wanting or needing a degree?

I’m a woman, and I’m entitled to change my mind.

I wonder what else I’m going to change my mind about.  For the love of god, if I start listening to country music, watching professional basketball or cooking a healthy dinner every day somebody smack me!